Death of a toothbrush

I have come to believe that over the last 6 years of marriage that my husband is super smart and he can remember song lyrics like no one else. Unfortunately even with his great knowledge, he can not remember what his tooth brush looks like.

Justin and I have a beautiful sonic toothbrush that was given to us by my wonderful tooth loving parents. I haven't been using it because my tooth brush head is shot and I keep forgetting to pick up new ones.

I had been using a blue tooth brush I bought in Minnesota in June. I found Justin using it shortly after I got back to IL. Of corse I was slightly ticked because it seem like this was happening a lot, but Justin insisted that he had been using this tooth brush for a long time and that I must have left mine in MN. I tried to reason with him but gave up and bought a new one. I pink one. Surely Justin would realize that the pink one was mine.



Well this morning to my revulsion I found him using my pink tooth brush.



"Why are you using my toothbrush again you know that grosses me out?" I said trying to remain calm.
"This is my tooth brush." He says as he drools and slobbers all over my beautiful pink tooth cleaner.
"No Honey, darling, sweetie pie. The blue one is yours remember that is the one you stole from me three weeks ago," I said as I teetered on the edge of insanity.
Justin turned to me, foam dripping down his face and said calmly " Amelia this is the one I have always used. I have been using it for weeks."

Long pause........(This is where my face splits open and the alien leaps out)



To say I flipped out or was hysterically furious was an understatement.

In my book using someone else's toothbrush with out there knowledge is down right evil. In the spectrum of evil things it is right between war crimes and cruelty to animals. My head made a 360 degree turn twice and when I was again focused on my wonderfully handsome husband my eyes had popped out of my skull and fallen in my lap.





Justin has remained calm this entire time. It is obvious that he is oblivious to the fact that my toothbrush is in is slimy mouth. He states as he finishes the assault on my precious brush, " What's the big deal. It's no different than kissing." I am speechless. How can he think that kissing ( Gods gift to lips) is the same as brushing teeth. "I don't lick your teeth when we kiss darling. I don't ever remember saying kiss me baby so I can remove that piece of spinach from your moss covered teeth."

I Gag. I vomit in my mouth a little. I morn the loss of yet another tooth brush.



I will buy another... I have too I have no choice. But this one will be different. I will write my name upon this brush, and pray to God on High that Justin will remember his name.