Motherhood was not an option for me. At a young age the lord had laid the immense desire to become a mother, and know that this was an outcome that had to happen some time in my life I began trolling for husbands at an early age. The funny thing about God is that he rarely throw things in your lap. “Here Amelia, This is your husband.” Was never heard by my lovely ears, but after many years of praying, and wishing and hoping and searching and maybe a little obsessive stalking I finally gave up on everything. Wife and mother went down the drain and i decided to work on just being human. I believe that it was that this moment that God said, “Ok she’s ready.” Nice, Thanks God.
Justin and I went to College together. I had seen him around campus a few times. I remember at one point after seeing him close up saying to myself “ I could marry that.” I really wasn’t obsessing about him or following him or collecting his toe nails like I was other boys on campus, but I think at that moment God marked Justin and I for each other. I saw him again in my home town while Christmas Shopping. How strange it was to see someone you don’t know from a place far away in a place where you grew up. Even after much prodding I couldn’t get up the guts to go meet him. He was a boy, he was really good looking , and he was with his family and there was no way I was going to go over there and be my super silly self, and be rejected again.
God was far from done with Justin. After returning to campus in January, I saw him almost every day. I was aware of him. Justin with his friends at dinner, Justin walking across campus, Justin here and there and everywhere. I was curious I must say, but I was “being a human” I was not interested in trying to find a man anymore. I was done with boys and love.
Do you remember moments where you have meant people for the first time. People that end up affecting and changing your life forever. I always expected this lighting bolt when I met my husband for the first time. A bright shining light and a dove descending from heave say “Amelia this is your man!!!!” When Justin and I first met it was awkward and frankly he hated me.
I was walking up to my dorm and he was walking right behind me. It was open house hours in our all girls dorm and he was heading up to see some friends. He was alone for the first time and something came over me. As I walked up the side walk I knew I had to find out who he was and where he was from and at that moment I quit being human and I turned into a lunatic. I unlocked the front door to my dorm and promptly slammed the door closed. Justin was ticked to say the least. I stood there and looked at him through the window. He looked at me kind of mad and confused.
“It’s open house hours isn’t it.”
“Yes” Amelia you can say more than that can’t you. Don’t be an idiot.
“Soooo..can I come in?”
“Yes as soon as you tell me why you were in the Galesburg mall over Christmas vacation?”
“We were shopping...for Christmas.” He was puzzled probably cursing me for keeping me from what ever female awaited him up stairs.
I opened the door and let him in and explained that I was from around there and I thought is was strange that I would see someone from Greenville in Galesburg. Justin explained that he lived in Peoria and for some strange reason his mother had decided that instead of shopping in the 2 huge malls in their home town, that they were going to go to Galesburg and shop in the smallest mall he had ever seen.
We didn’t have sparks, there was no bright light or singing angels, but at that moment Justin, even though I was a strange crazy lady that locked him out a dorm, became aware of me. Over the next few months we met again here and there and then he would follow me around. By the end of February were spending every Tuesday evening together in the Union talking about life and everything we had in common. We talked about love and how much it sucked. We talked about past relationships and how they had failed. We talked about our faults and our families and what we wanted in a spouse. He was flawed, and so was I. He was a goof ball and so was I. He was different.
Tuesdays turned into everyday and By the end of March he was in love, and I was scared to death. I was so afraid to invest myself in someone because I just could not stand the thought of being hurt again, but God wouldn’t let me let Justin Go.
“This is the one Amelia that I have written on your heart. You are the one that I have written on Justin’s heart.”
I married my best friend on May 11, 2002. I love him deeply and I thank God everyday for placing Justin in my life. I would never ever tell people that marriage and motherhood are easy. I don’t believe God ever meant them to be easy. Marriage is work. Marriage is something that a husband and wife have to work at everyday. Communication and Compromise are difficult for Justin and I. Money and parenthood is stressful, but he and I know that we will never be perfect and we plan to be less than perfect together for as long as God allows us to be together on this earth. I am shooting for 75 years.
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